The following is a list of things you might or not might not experience upon drinking a can of this revolutionary new energy beverage:- Increased energy and alertness, particularly in situations requiring one to engage in hand-to-hand combat, to the death.
- A sudden renewed interest in action movies from the early nineties whose titles consist of three words, one of which is usually either “kill”, “law” or “justice”.
- Existentialism.
- Immediate growth of ponytail.
- A collection of half-baked Buddhist/Zen ideals, which you will constantly feel compelled to share with anyone who will listen.
- Constant mistaking of oneself for a Buddhist monk.
- Constant mistaking of oneself for an elderly back blues guitar player.
- Constant mistaking of oneself for a Native American.
- The inability to speak in any manner that is not a threatening whisper.
- A deep-rooted hatred for Keanu Reeves and all of the Matrix films.
- A deep-rooted love of biscuits and gravy.
- The need to settle all of life’s disputes - no matter how small or inane - with a karate duel.
- Magical powers (in your mind).
- Increased Asianness.
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